


rain rain, go away (come again another day)

by alvin (alvinn1028)



Category: Wynonna Earp - Fandom
Genre: ? - Freeform, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Gen, Light Angst, idk man this is sad, tw:brief implied suicidal thoughts, tw:depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 00:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19878502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alvinn1028/pseuds/alvin
Summary: following the aftermath of jolene, waverly has some bad days





	rain rain, go away (come again another day)

**Author's Note:**

> so to celebrate season 3 being dropped on Netflix, I rewatched S3 ep 5 on a 15 hr flight and basically had a lot of feelings about waverly dealing with some demons of her own
> 
> also, i'd like to start with a disclaimer that this has just been some of my experiences with depression and i don't intend to speak for everyone on this so enjoy

The sky looked utterly bleak.

Dark, ugly storm clouds had come rolling in overnight, a tumultuous tempest creeping in. Thunder continued to echo well into the morning, bringing with it blinding flashes of lightning that streaked across the sky, lighting up the darkness, if only for a moment.

This might’ve been perfect weather to stay inside cuddled up with significant others, cosy under blankets or by fires. Perhaps, you would sit by the window and watch as the storm raged on, enraptured by the force of nature, mug of tea or cocoa in hand. Or, maybe it’d have been nice to bundle up in raincoats and armed with umbrellas, run around in the puddles and mud, childlike glee in your eyes and breathless grins painted on your face.

Waverly was not doing any of those things. She lay in bed, curled onto her side, listlessly looking out the window. Fat raindrops pelted the windows, blurring the outside world, and effectively blurring Waverly’s view. It didn’t really matter to her, though.

You see, just as there are sunny days and rainy days, Waverly, too, had good days and bad days.

And today was a bad day.

Her small figure rolled over, not wanting to stare any longer at the blurred glass. Aimlessly, she thought about calling Wynonna, or Nicole, or Jeremy, or –

_Why should you burden others with your feelings? You have nothing to feel bad about other than this desperate attempt for pity,_ whispered that voice. Waverly couldn’t help but agree.

Lightning flashed again. Two seconds later, a large boom of thunder rattled through the room. “That’s getting pretty close,” she said aloud, to no one but herself. She pulled the blankets tighter to her.

Waverly awoke again, and at a glance to her window, was still unsure of how long she had slept for. She couldn’t seem to find the energy to glance at the clock. Groggily, she glanced at her phone and found a few missed calls and texts, the most recent one being from Nicole not 2 minutes ago. Likely, this has been what she had woken up from. A follow-up text had been sent.

_Sweetie Pie <3: Hey cutie, just wanted to check in with you, I haven’t heard from you in a bit _

Waverly’s thumb hovered over the reply button.

_Oh, she doesn’t_ really _care if you’re okay._ Its voice seemed smug. _Don’t you remember? Let me remind you._

**_“I’m always the last person you consider,” Nicole growled out, glaring at her._ **

**_“I- That’s –“ Her voice sounded broken. “Can I call you later?” Trembling hands reached over to slim, pale ones, ones that were snatched away before she had even managed to make contact_ **

**_“Yeah, or don’t.”_ **

_See? She doesn’t really want to talk to you._

Waverly locked her phone and rolled over again.

It was nighttime now. Or, maybe not. Waverly awoke to almost pure darkness. Wynonna sat on the edge of the bed. “Hey, babygirl.”

Waverly sighed and tried to sit up, but that proved to be much too taxing and she simply made eye contact with her sister over her bundle of blankets. Wynonna motioned to the nightstand. “I brought you some of that hemorrhoid sounding tea you like.” She smiled weakly. “And Jeremy dropped off some of those vegan muffins you like.”

Waverly didn’t even bother to look. “Not really hungry. Just tired.” Even talking seemed to take effort, her words mumbled and half slurred. Wynonna just patted the lump that was her leg.

“Okay, babygirl. I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”

_Here for you? She_ left _you, remember? She doesn’t even think you’re really her sister._

**_“Half-sister,” Wynonna snarled, hatred gleaming in her eyes._ **

“What I need is sleep, Wynonna. And quiet.” Waverly turned away from her sister.

Wynonna stood, furrowed eyebrows and concern in her frown, but walked to the door. She stood at the door for a second. “I’m here for you, babygirl. I love you.” She closed the door behind her.

Her dreams, or nightmares, culminated in a series of flashes.

Doc, snickerdoodle in hand, revulsion in his eyes as he sized her up. _“You do have that awful vicious streak.”_

A young Willa, morphing and shifting into her older counterpart, looking at Waverly with disgust in her eyes. _“She’ll_ never _be one of us.”_

Nicole, glaring at her over the countertop at the police station. _“You didn’t think to talk to me first?”_

Wynonna, sneering at her over a whiskey glass, snickering along with Mama. _“Dorkus.”_

Jolene’s voice in her ear, so painfully clear over the overlapping memories. _“Why don’t you just do something right for ONCE in your life?”_

The metal had been so, _so_ cold against her skin, tip pressed in just above her heart. 

It would have been so, _so_ easy... 

Waverly awoke with a sob, and instantly, Nicole was by her side, wrapping her arms around the brunette. “I’ve got you, Waves, baby, I’m here.” The timbre of Nicole’s soft voice rumbled in her chest, the calm tone soothing.

Sobs wracked through her body, leaving her a shaking, whimpering mess. Nicole, for her part, simply held her and gently ran her fingers through Waverly’s hair, occasionally muttering soft words to Waverly.

They stayed like that until eventually, all that was left was Waverly shivering against Nicole. Waverly pulled back, her face drawing into a guilty look. “I ruined your shirt.”

Nicole glanced down at the blotchy mess on her shirt. “Doesn’t matter. It’ll wash out.” She reached to the nightstand, where now, instead of the treats Wynonna had brought, laid a simple container of sweet and sour soup, a jar of peanut butter, a box of tissues, and two water bottles. Nicole grabbed one of the bottles and a few and offered them to Waverly. “Do you want some water?”

Waverly looked at the nightstand full of treats, absentmindedly taking the tissues and rubbing at her eyes and nose. _You don’t deserve any of this._ “Nicole, you really shouldn’t have.”

Nicole looked at her, a small smile on her face. “Hey, don’t worry about all that right now. All you have to worry about right now is this water bottle. Please?”

The brunette warily looked at the bottle, but took it, nonetheless. Uncapping it, she took a small sip, earning a brilliant smile from Nicole. She took another, just to get that smile again, and with it an instant feeling of selfishness.

Waverly set the bottle on the nightstand and glanced at the window. The storm was breaking.

She looked at the redhead and leaned into her embrace. “I’m sorry.” Her voice was small and she seemed to push herself further into the crook of Nicole’s neck.

A soft hum was uttered in response, dexterous figures back in her hair. “What for, baby? You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“I don’t understand why you don’t hate me, Nicole.”

“I could never hate you, Waverly Earp. And you’ve given me no reason to.”

The voice tried to bring up the list of reasons why Nicole should hate her, but Waverly couldn’t hear it over the sound of Nicole’s heartbeat in her ears.

When Waverly next woke up, it was to the rumbling of her stomach rather than the storm outside. All that was left of that storm were a few greyish clouds, but they couldn’t stop rays of sunshine to glint through. Waverly felt secure arms around her middle and noticed the slight snores coming from the dozing redhead beside her.

Carefully, Waverly raised the sheets and slipped out, stopping by the window. She looked out the window, drinking out of the water bottle she had grabbed off the nightstand. She set it down and glanced towards the door.

_Figures you’d leave your girlfriend alone. Selfish._ The voice hissed, but the voice was different now, weaker. Waverly shook her head. It seemed odd how the voice had distorted, and instead of sounding convincing, had instead begun to sound like that of a child who hadn’t gotten their way.

She glanced again at Nicole, dropping a kiss to her forehead as she headed toward the door, earning a soft, unconscious smile.

She stood in the doorway and looked back out the window one last time. The sun gleamed, shining a brilliant light over the world that had been covered in rain so recently. 

Of course, there would still be days where the voice managed to convince Waverly again of all her doubts and fears, just as there would be many more rainy days in Purgatory. But there would always be the sunshine after the storm, and Waverly would always be able to depend on those she loved, and who loved her in return.

**Author's Note:**

> like a moron i deleted the episode after i watched it and thus had to recall from memory some of these quotes so pls forgive me if they're wrong 
> 
> anyways come yell at me in twitter @alvinyeet


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